I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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