When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
