D3 body, D1 cock
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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