then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I didn't notice because vodka
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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