Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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