I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
