He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
