oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
