his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
