Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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