when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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