Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
