Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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