That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
