He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
