theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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