I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
