So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
