God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
