I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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