because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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