can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
