god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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