matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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