Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
