I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
