i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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