you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize