i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
