Dignity is for republicans.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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