so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
