WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
