i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
