Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
