i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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