I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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