I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
