i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
