How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
