so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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