Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize