Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
