the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
