well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize