fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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