If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize