I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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