I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize