We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
