I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
