I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
