well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
accomplished twins. life is a go
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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