i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just pynch a tree in the face
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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