the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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