oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
