a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Itās 830 am and the amount of Valentineās Day snaps Iāve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
