Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
