Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize