I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I accidentally burped into my bong.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He passed out mid-signature
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
