I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
