3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
